...And so much so I actually called my surgeon's secretary to see if she had any surgery cancellations, not so I'm afraid. Apparently due to the enormity of the recovery people rarely cancel, having had to make all sorts of arrangements to function in the weeks post op.
Yesterday I actually cried when carrying my 8 month old chubster daughter (21lbs) I was faced with the stairs to the first floor and it look my a lifetime to climb them carrying Izzy. I live in a 3 story house, the ground floor I see as a useless obstacle now and only houses the laundry room and shower room and the garden room, so I have to climb a flight of stairs just to get into the main part of the house, the the lounge, kitchen, diner, then another flight for the bedrooms and bathrooms. I'm trying to work out which floor to stay on post hip arthroscopy, with crutches, as despite having 3 bathrooms, none are on the middle, living floor! My husband keeps joking about putting a portaloo out on the lounge balcony, but its starting to become appealing! Sometimes I can 'DO" stairs, but on bad hip pain days of which there are increasingly many, I have to drag myself up, last night I tried crawling and that worked quite well, but not whilst carrying a baby I suspect!
I HAVE to give this hip arthroscopy a shot, I've tried every treatment going, but to no avail and owe it to myself, my long suffering hubby and to my toddler and baby. I see 60yr olds more agile than myself! ..and before this, I was super active, its like been a prisoner inside a mutinous body!
Don't get me wrong, I am terrified. I've already listed my anxieties, though 2 new ones are what if the house sets on fire and I can't get the kiddies and myself out on crutches; and (more minor) what if a huge spider runs across the floor and I can't get it and I'm trapped in a room with a monster spider!!
But I see no choice as I stoically plod towards 10th July 2009 with fear buried in the pit of my stomach (sounds bit melodramatic) but its pretty accurate!
No more pain, I can take no more, but I know its a bloody long road ahead as IF my right hip fixes well, then I still need my left hip fixed. Both hips have hip impingement, the right hip more severe impingement than the left hip. I believe the hip degree range should be between 20 and 37 degrees and my right hip is at 50 degrees and my left hip 40 something...I think I blanked out at the second hip measurement explanation.. a bit like in the TV show "SCRUBS" ..I could here my own voice saying "my God BOTH hips, I knew it! ... but OMG, that means TWO operations, SHIT!"
It makes a change though, as usually in these medical appointments with consultant types (prior to hip diagnosis) My 'SCRUBS voice' was saying in my head " You really have noooo idea, do you ...how old are you? ..24? I get it, you've just qualified, oh my God yes, you're only a house officer, Jesus why have they given me a house officer, can't they see I've been in agony for years.... arrhhhhh!"